Curious Jimbeau

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Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit. In order to increase sales,
she decides to allow her loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed
alcoholics – to drink now, but to pay later. She keeps track of the drinks
consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Heidi’s drink-now-pay-later marketing strategy;
and as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi’s bar.
Soon she has the largest sale volume for any bar in  Detroit . By
providing her customers the freedom from immediate payment demands,
Heidi gets no resistance when she substantially increases prices for wine and
beer and whisky. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young, dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes these customer
debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit. He sees
no reason for undue concern, since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert traders bundle these customer
loans into large investments called DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS.
These securities are considered as secure as the bank that holds the collateral
loans. They are traded as collateralized debt obligations (CDOs) on security
markets worldwide.

Naive investors don’t understand that the securities being sold as
AAA bonds are really backed by the debts of unemployed alcoholics.
Nevertheless, their prices continually climb, and the securities become top
selling items for some of the nation’s leading brokerage houses.

One day, although the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager
at the bank (subsequently fired due to his negativity) decides the
time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by all
drinkers at Heidi’s bar. Heidi demands payment from her alcoholic
patrons, but being unemployed, they cannot pay back their debts.

Heidi cannot fulfil her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy!
DRINKBONDs and ALKIBONDs drop in price by 90%.
PUKEBONDs perform better by dropping only 80%. The decreased
bond-asset value destroys the bank’s liquidity and prevents it
from issuing new loans to anyone.

Suppliers of Heidi’s bar, having granted her generous payment
extensions, and also having invested in some of the bank’s
securities; are faced with writing off her inventory debt and losing
over 80% on their bonds. Her wine supplier is forced into bankruptcy.
Her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately
closes the local plant and lays off 50 workers. Her whisky supplier
drinks himself to death.

The bank and brokerage houses are saved by the Government after
dramatic round-the-clock negotiations by leaders from both political
parties. The funds required for this bailout are obtained from a tax
levied on fully employed middle-class non-drinkers.

Finally an explanation I understand.

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My friend who works at Mission Hospital told me about a 7 year old boy who had jumped into a pool to save his 3 year old sister even though he didn’t know how to swim.  They are both alright, but this little kid’s selfless act has stayed with me ever since.

I remember reading about a man named Wesley Autrey who risked his life to save a someone who had fallen in front of an oncoming subway train during a seizure.  I have noted the small gap on Subway lines – see below – that Autrey managed to push the man into and couldn’t imagine them both fitting into it.

Heroic is defined as acts of boldness, daring or extreme measures but we generally liken the term to those that risk their lives.  Like the man who pulled a stranger from a burning car, or the Dad who died trying to rescue 3 kids in a 9 foot pool.

It seems to me that some people are predestined to heroism by cultural upbringing, personal experiences or possibly genetics.  Take the two-time hero who saves a woman from a submerged vehicle and years later nearly dies of burns received while saving a dog from a house fire.  The self-less act of saving an animal, let alone a life, has to be an innate compunction related more to our souls than our to our selves.

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Environment